It's been a while since I last logged in my Facebook account. Why? Because I was spending too much time on it, I was involuntarily checking the page every 15 minutes for updates, craving for news from people that are currently not part of my life anymore. That is the negative effect Facebook was having on me: forcing me to spend time and energy with more people that I can handle, all together, and was not giving me the reward I always got, which is to become more intimate with each individual, have the feeling of being part of someone's life and have someone be part of mine. Millions of users access the website daily for many different purposes, and I was already starting to wonder if I was alone in my dilemma. Turns out there are many of us, books have already been published on this topic, I would not be surprised to find a Facebook page dedicated to this. I will share all the different ways Facebook seems to be affecting people on the next lines, and if you agree, well... I...
Why sometimes we can't achieve what we desire? And why sometimes we don't even know what we want? How can you motivate yourself and your friends to take things seriously and work hard for what they want? Maybe there isn't a magic trick to do it... But could we at least find out what makes people the way they are? I will suggest a (crazy) approach to find the answer.
If we put aside all the religious/ethical thoughts, we normally don't know for sure what is the meaning of life, why we live, and so on. Personally, I believe that our purpose is to be happy, as long as it does not imply the unhappiness of others. But what makes us happy? I tried to resume all our desires in three main categories of pleasures, which would motivate us to take action and pursue our objectives.
The first one is the pleasure we have when we achieve something that makes us more confident, and for this reason, called the "esteem" pleasure. Let us say we want to lose weight or spare some money to buy new clothing. This would be the pleasure after we accomplish that, and what would motivate us to try harder and harder to do so. It can also be the pleasure of being right in discussions, the pleasure of knowing, and all related things.
- The esteem pleasure
- The physical pleasure
- The social pleasure
The first one is the pleasure we have when we achieve something that makes us more confident, and for this reason, called the "esteem" pleasure. Let us say we want to lose weight or spare some money to buy new clothing. This would be the pleasure after we accomplish that, and what would motivate us to try harder and harder to do so. It can also be the pleasure of being right in discussions, the pleasure of knowing, and all related things.
The second is the physical pleasure, as we feel in sexual orgasm, the feeling of satisfaction when eating something good (like chocolate) and also when we are exhausted and lay in bed. This pleasure would be the reminder that we also must spare some time for ourselves and rest (physically and mentally). This is what we are normally trying to control and avoid.
The last one is the "social" pleasure. It is the pleasure we feel when people recognize we did something good, or that we are good at something. This could be related with our social needs and instinct of group survival, since it would give people a good reason to help us when we need, and even recognize ourselves as "necessary".
Now, how can we use this to reach our goals? Well, first we need to find ways to wake the thirst for each one of this pleasures, and then control it in the right direction. The ways we use to enjoy each pleasure can turn our lives into something good or bad, the same way the dose of a medicine can either cure or kill. I wait for your answers, and will prepare another post to explain this better (mabe this was a little confusing). See ya!
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